Pride 2024: The Introverts Guide
Ironically... you're not alone
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As we continue to wade through the waters of another Pride season, some of us will inevitably see our calendars flooded with rainbow hued events both personal and professional, each declaring that love IS in fact, love! (Something I only found out in 2019 - how random!)
As a plethora of gender identities continue to broaden and flourish, ensuring hair colourists across the country remain firmly in work, I have made a stark realisation about my own identity.
Not only do I identify as non-binary, there’s something else that only a few people may know about me.
Yes, I think it’s time to come out - officially.
I identify as boring.
My pronouns? Staying/In
I have a subscription to the Radio Times. I believe firmly in appointment television, and on a Sunday I enjoy having a meal that includes gravy. I’m basically a Reform UK voter in sheep’s clothing, just minus the whiskey induced red face and penchant for heterosexuality.
This isn’t a new thing. I’ve always enjoyed identifying as boring. But I wouldn’t actually say that my life is boring - it’s just what I like to call ‘Gay Boring’.
Boredom is in the eye of the beholder, much like enjoyment. One gays trash is another gays treasure. For example, not wanting to be out on the streets at the crack of dawn whilst perhaps in the crack of Dawn, the she/they you just met at G.A.Y, whilst stumbling and mumbling something to yourself about how it’s okay that you still go to G.A.Y even though you don’t like Jeremy Joseph, is fine. It doesn’t make you ‘bad’, or ‘not gay’. It just makes you Gay Boring.
Let’s embrace that.
I like routine, and I like breakfast tea. I like sitting down to watch Strictly Come Dancing or Doctor Who or plan a weekend around going to the refill shop or Kew Gardens. I love the Radio Times Crossword. I like the cinema. I like arriving to any social plans at least 4 minutes before the aforementioned time we were supposed to meet so that I can practice how I’m going to smile. I like seeing what Fiona Bruce is wearing on Question Time. I love Big Brother. I enjoy the familiarity of my local coffee shop knowing that I only have an Oat Cappuccino on a Saturday. I like taking my little beige car to the seaside and sitting in the drivers seat with the windows down, eating fish and chips and watching The Pit Stop.
Although this is rather matronly, I know there are plenty of folks out there who feel the same. Who, for whatever reason, prefer to live life in the ‘slow lane’. So, as we sit firmly within Pride Season, I have compiled a list of the best things to do for the introvert this pride. Whether you go solo, or take a fellow socially challenged friend with you - enjoy these delights of the introverts pride up and down the UK.
Barbican Centre - Queer 80s: Cinema on the Brink of Global Change
Back in the day, LGBTQ+ cinema was less about Nicolas Galitzine’s portrayl of homosexuality or whether or not Jonathan Bailey actually got his cock out, and instead about things like … social change! The Barbican Centre is sharing a specially curated season of ground-breaking films which showcase the ways in which creativity and social change were inseparable in the 1980s across all six continents.
From East & West Germany, Scandanavia, the Soviet union and New Zealand to name a few, follow queer lives through cinema as we look back at the power of fighting for change.
When? Wednesday 5th June - Wednesday 26th June 2024
Following a stellar year in 2023 when a real life Orchestra played AND sang the White Lotus Theme Song to a packed house in London, Classical Pride is back. Featuring performances from RuPaul’s Drag Race alumni Monet X Change and Thorgy Thor as well as the legendary Jonny Woo, it’s sure to be a perfectly elegant evening for those of us who prefer to be seated on the red velvet rather than on someones shoulders. This truly is the future liberals want, and I for one can’t wait to see what Classic FM have to say about this.
When? 3rd July in Central London with events until the 7th July
LGBT+ Bristol History Boat Tour
Do you like the water? Have you ever thought, ‘hold on, this harbour side looks so gay, I bet there’s definitely some old gay shit that went on here?’ - well you’re in luck. Bristol Pride and Outstories Bristol are taking a gaggle of queers on a 60 minute boat tour around the harbour, allowing you to absorb and inform yourself on the queer history of the area. My guess is that this is where Ursula did her acting training when she was prepping for The Little Mermaid… or maybe this is where Graham Norton likes to skinny dip, or Carol Vorderman likes to take her OOTD pics? Either way, lots to learn and plenty more to indulge in once on board.
When? 7th July, Bristol, Prince Street Ferry Stop
No, this isn’t another Ryan Murphy spin-off silly - it’s Manchester’s year-round arts and culture programme which features LGBTQ+ talent from the UKs third largest city. From poetry, art, music and dance there’s something for everyone across the Manchester Pride festivities - often in sober, accessible spaces for those with physical or hidden disabilities. To really confirm the stereotype that northerners are the nicest people alive - Superbia also funds, curates and promotes queer events across the other 11 months of the year. Five gold gay stars for the Northerners, as always.
When? 16th - 24th August, Manchester
Do you want to stay at home? Is partying the night away in a feather boa more of a nightmare than a wet dream? That’s fine! Stay in, and cuddle up to your betrothed or order a take-away and watch Bonus Track. Set in 2006, this British film is a perfect cosy afternoon treat for those of us who want to relive our youth at school in a retroactively healing manner. Full of the pride bops that will inevitably be sung to crowds at ‘Pride: The Ultimate Festival Gay Event Disco Extravaganze sponsored by ‘Holland & Barrett’, but from the comfort of your own home. Tres beautiful, silly and at times farcical but that’s what we love from queer rom-coms don’t we?
Bonus Track is available to watch on Sky Cinema from 1st June
Do you enjoy looking into space on your own? Do bright lights arouse your dopamine receptors into thinking you’re having a good time? Are you often perusing the streets of Central London with time to kill and brain space to fill? Thank God Outernet is here. Often displaying terrifyingly realistic depictions of space or the natural world, Outernet houses several locations across London displaying one of a kind audio visual treats - for free. Simply toddle off the Northern Line at Tottenham Court Road and you’ll be instantly greeted by The Now Building, or pop around the corner and you’ll find HERE - the 2000 capacity venue housing some of Outernet’s pride activations. These include a 40th retrospective look at the history of GAY TIMES (hopefully I’m in there - if not I will be having words) as well as a charitable audio visual look at why it’s ‘Not All Rainbows and Sunshine’ from LGBTQ+ anti-violence charity GALOP (which I have lent my voice to), and much much more.
Check the Outernet Website for dates of their Pride activations over June 2024
Muphoria - Pride In Music Exhibition
For those who love to mooch and stand and read, this is a great little exhibit deep in the heart of Soho. Celebrating some of music’s greatest LGBTQ+ trailblazers, it features work from the likes of Soft Cell’s Marc Almond and celebrates inspirational figures like Grace Jones, Madonna, George Michael and Charles Moriarty. As London’s first and only permanent music art gallery, it’s a space for lovers from all different genres to digest art of their favourite artists as well as buy something to hang in the loo if they fancy. Or get a great card, there’s always a great card at little exhibitions isn’t there.
Berwick St, London - Pride In Music is on until the 30th June.
Chosen Family
Sometimes, the best thing to do for pride is to be around those that know you the best - your chosen pals. Take them out for a coffee, or go for a stroll and talk about Section 28 and how much plastic waste is left in the park after the hot weekend that’s just passed. Whatever it may be, sometimes just spending time with our nearest and dearest whom we decide are our family, is the best and most nourishing way to spend our time.
See you next time for our first LGBTQ+ POP CULTURE chit chat, make sure to subscribe below to receive it neatly in your inbox next Thursday!
Love this so much.